Guest Post: The Privacy Act according to Pam and Kae

We are excited to have the Authors of Cookies for Dinner: the tales of two moms in their quest to survive motherhood, Pam Johnson-Bennett and Kae Allen, guest post for us today.  Enjoy the funny!

cookies for dinnerFrom Kae: Before my kids were born, I would spend hours in the bathroom, taking showers, fixing my hair and tending to my other bathroom duties.  One thing that was not in my “All the Goofy Advice about Babydom” books was the newsflash that once you birthed a child, you would never spend time in the bathroom by yourself again.  Every day, when nature or hygiene called you could find the entire Allen crew shoved into our tiny bathrooms.   It was always a challenge trying to wash my hair and shave my legs all the while hanging my head out of the shower curtain to make sure no one was shoving something up someone else’s nose holes.  You would think that as the kids got older, I would gain some measure of privacy, but this was not to be.  My girls figured out that the only time they could catch me sitting still was when I was in the bathroom.  So for years, all important “girlie” discussions were held in my upstairs bathroom. This had become such a common occurrence that when we had our master suite built I didn’t even bother to put a door on the bathroom.  Finally after 25 years, the kids are finally out of the house and out of my bathroom.  Now my bathroom time is only shared with Fred, my female goldendoodle.  She also likes to sit by the tub while I go about my bathroom duties, but since she doesn’t know how to talk, it’s okay with me.  One night shortly after my in-laws moved in with me I made the announcement that I was going up to the bathtub to soak my aching back.  Shortly after I slid into the tub, around the corner came my mother-in-law to tell me something “important”.  When she saw that I was in the tub naked as a newborn, she darted back out to of the room with an “OOOH”.  It was awkward but at least the moment didn’t last long.  That is until she decided that since she had already seen me naked she would come right back in to discuss what was so important on her mind.  Yeah, maybe I should have put a door on the bathroom after all.

From Pam: My take on privacy is very different from kae. The bathroom is the ONLY room in the house where I can be alone – even if it’s just for a moment. There may be two kids, the dog and the cat camped outside the bathroom door but no one gains entry (well, actually the dog and cat are exempt from the privacy rule) while mommy’s pants are around her ankles or she is buck naked. It wasn’t always this way. At first I was a little more lenient with the privacy rule whenever I was in the shower. As long as I was safely behind the shower door, the kids could come in if they have to urgently talk to me. By the way, “urgently” for a kid means anything from a cookie request, the need to tattle on a sibling or even just to say “hi.” This privilege to converse with mommy during a shower was abruptly taken away when I quickly discovered two little faces plastered against the shower glass in an attempt to get a closer look. My time in the bathroom, whether it’s for attending to necessary duties or an attempt at a relaxing bath, requires a locked door. The family can bang, plead, wiggle their fingers at me under the door or attempt to pick the lock – no one enters. Bathroom time has become my oasis in the chaos of life.
cookies authorsIf you’d like to read more about Pam and Kae’s take on motherhood, check out their blog at www.twoloonsandabook. Pam Johnson-Bennett and Kae Allen are the authors of the book Cookies for Dinner: the tales of two moms in their quest to survive motherhood (White River Press, 2011). Follow Pam and Kae on Facebook and Twitter.

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Comments

  1. Very funny – thank you both for sharing:) I think I fall somewhere in the middle – depending on my mood, the kids can come in while I’m in there (and so I leave the door open) or they have to wait outside (and the door is shut). Waiting is obviously one of their noisiest activities, and little hands are often creeping under the door in an attempt to reach Mummy, but sometimes it’s the only alone time I get, so I’m gonna take it!
    Thanks again,
    Kristina

  2. Thank you for the opportunity to guest blog. We had a great time writing this.

Trackbacks

  1. […] no escaping the Two Loons. We’re starting to spread. Check out our guest blog called The Privacy Act. We have very different takes on how much privacy a mom needs in the bathroom. Thank you to Tracy […]

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